It has
been a really tough week for me. I always plan all these fun things to do for
my birthday. This year, I thought, “Whatever! I’m not a kid. Why make so much
ado about a simple day?” I made no serious plans and expected nothing. My
darling husband rose up to the task and made my day very special and happy.
When people say, “Happy Birthday”, do they really wish that you have a happy
day or is it something that we say just because. The same way we say, “Have a
good day”, “Have a safe trip”, “Have a good night…” I really think that we have
got so used to saying these words as responses that most times we don’t mean it
deeply enough. Oh well, I digress. It’s really your business what you say and
what you mean. I did have a truly happy birthday. Even though at the end of the
day, I got sick and one week after, I am still on my way to recovery. Through
the day, I kept having these nostalgic feelings. Last year, on my birthday, I
was heavily pregnant. All I asked my husband for was a buttery, creamy vanilla
cake. I told him to just get 8 inches and that I didn’t want to share it with
anyone. Lol. He fulfilled that wish, but made me share the cake. The nostalgic
feelings came mixed with gratitude. The child, who was weighing me down and
ripping my ligaments last year, was hugging and kissing me this year. I know
that every parent believes their child is the best kid in the whole world.
Well, I know that indeed my son is the best kid you’ve ever come across. That’s
a fact! He laughs a lot. Not the average hahaha, but an intense, pure, honest
laughter. Sometimes, he laughs so hard that he snorts and farts. Ridiculous! I
look at my son and I believe that God is real and He answers prayers. LX is all
I prayed for and more. So, I spent my birthday not reflecting on my life or
achievements or lack of achievements. All I could think about was the little
boy who is the most important person in my life (well, after his dad!). I get
up to go to work every day and I feel guilty sometimes that I am not with him.
I have a full time job, so my hours with him are very limited. But I remind
myself that it’s ok. I am doing a good thing. I am working so that I can give
him the good things of life. I am working so that I can teach him the value of
hard work. I am working so that I can take him to visit his cousins scattered
around the world. I am working for all these reasons and so much more. My womb
is still hungry. I look forward to having another baby. Spending time with LX
and the new baby and doing this mommy business better the second time. I am
looking forward to more laughter in my home. But the time is not right. I’ll
wait a few more months and try again. Fingers crossed.
