Flying without wings

While doing our (baby, daddy and I) bedtime ritual, my mind wandered to an amusing time in my life. A time that seems now, like lifetimes away. I was rocking my son and singing to him. I started out with Boundless Love, Blessed Assurance, Amazing Grace, (he should have slept, but no!) Pour my love on you... I ran out of sweet gospel melodies and dug into my FGGC music competition playlist. Santa Lucia, Edelweiss... then R&B. I started singing Westlife's Flying without wings and that was when it happened. 

I was 16 and had a massive crush on a certain guy. Let's call him Dude. So Dude was 10 years older and was (at the time) everything I hoped my first boyfriend would be. And yes, he was my 1st boyfriend. I remember all the sneaking around. The countless lies to get out of the house and go hang with my beau. The way he taught me how to kiss. Bottom lip... upper lip... then the tongue (and pls no teeth!). I remember the way my heart beat so fast when he touched my breasts the 1st time. I thought I'd have a heart attack. Errmm... how did we progress from lips to boobs? We listened to music a lot, and at the time, one of our favorites was Flying without wings. Now, it is not clear whether it was 'our' favorite or MY favorite, but who cares?

As I sang that song to my little boy, I laughed at the folly of youth. At 16, what was I thinking when I listened to that song? Did I look at Dude and think I was in love? I still know the lyrics. Every single word. Incase you've never heard it, pls click here for the video/lyrics. Follow me, as I break down some of the lyrics.

"...You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life..."

Really? How deep could that friendship have been? As for cherishing it for the rest of my life, I don't know about that! Haven't seen or spoken to Dude in at least 12 years.

"...Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you..."

I definitely remember lying in my bed and dreaming of what it would be like to wake up beside Dude every morning. I used to tell myself that he was too perfect. he would never have morning breath or any such imperfection and his farts would smell like potpourri. Yeah yeah yeah... 

"...And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends..."

I am thankful that God wasn't paying me any attention cos my life is just getting interesting! Imagine it had ended then! What an empty and uneventful life it would have been. Oh well,I guess when you're 16, you think that you're all grown up and living it up is not wearing school uniforms, wearing badly applied makeup, wearing tampons, not having a curfew, perming your hair, hiding to drink a bottle of Guinness (horrible tasting shit!), having a boyfriend, kissing, talking about kisses and dreaming about sex... These were the things 'grownups' did and therefore as a young girl doing them felt like I had arrived. Ridiculous.

Remembering that episode in my life was funny. I actually laughed out loud. The funniest memory of that relationship was our first and only valentine's day. I wasn't sure if he would get me anything and so didn't want to get him something and risk looking silly, so I went to his house empty-handed. Got there and his cousin told me he wasn't home. I waited for what seemed like forever. I think I even fell asleep on the couch. I felt a tap on my back and woke up. There he was. My handsome boyfriend (lol). He had a huge bag of precious little things for me. I don't remember all of it, but I remember the teddy bear and the Cerutti 1881. He attached funny one-liners to every thing in that bag. I hugged him and knowing me, I bet I cried. Lol. I can proudly say my first big girl valentine's day was a great one. 

That's that. Now, everytime you hear that song on the radio, I bet you'll think of me! Hahaha!