The S**t people make us believe

How many times have you heard someone tell you, "you only live once". Well, what if I told you that it's not true. Every morning that you wake up alive is a new day. Now, the decision to live is yours. You either wake up and seize the day, or you wake up and just let the day pass by. Whatever your decision is, remember that you have everyday that you are alive to live; because after all is said and done, you die. When you die, that's it! You don't get to die twice. You wake up, shit happens and then you die. Goodluck.

My Marijuana Chronicles Part 2

Hey! I am back to continue my conversation on marijuana and me.

After I watched the documentary, my heart and mind opened. The documentary featured the story of a young girl who was having about 300 seizures a week! Yes, 300! She lived in a wheel chair with a protective helmet on. She could not have the life that every 5 year old was having. She could not learn or play in the yard because this disease had ravaged her body and mind. Her parents had tried every prescribed medication out there and nothing was working. They were at the point where doctors were considering starting her on veterinary medicines for seizures. It was then that they learnt of marijuana. They decided to try it, and found the growers in Colorado who developed a strain that would work well for seizures. In no time at all, her seizures were reduced to 1 per week! I cried over and over when I watched that documentary. Even as I write now, I remember her and my heart melts. If you or your loved one has ever suffered seizures, you will understand the trauma.

 After I watched the documentary, I began to consider the marijuana alternative. I knew I did not want to buy off the street. When you buy something like weed off the street, you can almost be sure that people mix it up with tobacco and all other things to increase their profit. My next step, was to research how to get medical marijuana in Canada.

At the end of the week, I had come up with a couple of options. I could either apply to the government for  a medical marijuana license, or apply to a not for profit dispensary. The latter seemed the quickest option. That way, I wouldn't have to deal with all the red tape. To get marijuana from a dispensary, you had to have one of the listed diseases. The listed ones include: arthritis, cancer, anxiety, Crohn's, glaucoma, epilepsy etc. You also had to get a diagnosis from your doctor. As was expected, my doctor was reluctant to support my decision. I made it clear to him that it is my life and therefore my decision. He could not deny me a diagnosis, so he sent it. All I had to do was fill some forms and fax the diagnosis. In a week, I had my ID card and was ready  to buy my first dose.

My first visit to the dispensary was an education. For my condition, I needed a strain that was calming. One that had more sedative effects as opposed to a 'high'. A strain higher in Indica than Sativa. I went through Bubba Kush, OG Kush, Purple Kush etc. I went through the munchies. I went through the raised eyebrows (I still do!). The single most important thing to me, then and now, is that it worked! It works! My seizures stopped. The absences stopped. Just like that! It was unbelievable.

I started to sleep without fear. I was no longer afraid to sleep for fear that I would have a seizure. Or afraid to stay awake for fear that the sleep deprivation would trigger a seizure. I was no longer afraid! It was amazing. Then I got pregnant. Seeing as I had lost a pregnancy earlier in the year, it almost seemed like God had done that to lead me to the place I was. The last quarter of 2013 is one that we will not forget in a hurry. I gained seizure control, I got pregnant, my husband got a better job offer and we made a big move to Vancouver.

In the middle of all of this, I got carried away. You see, my husband had moved to Vancouver and I was supposed to join him about 3 weeks later. He left on a Sunday. The movers came to get our things and I moved in with my friend. My marijuana cookies were finished and I had previously never bothered to learn how to grind the grass and place in the vaporizer. The husband did it all the time for me. When he left, I slacked and stopped taking my marijuana. Believe it or not, 10 weeks pregnant, exactly one week after he left, I had a seizure.

I am going to stop here for now. Mummy duty beckons. I promise, the 3rd part will be the concluding part. :)

My marijuana chronicles Part 1

         I have to share the story of my marijuana experiment and how it has made me a happier, healthier, saner person. I have suffered from epilepsy since I was 16. So that's 14 years ago. Getting that diagnosis was a huge blow. It felt like my whole world was destroyed. I had the lemons thrown at me and no recipe for lemonade! Oh well, I sucked it up and moved on as best as I could. The silver lining for me was that the seizures were purely nocturnal. At first, I was sad. Then I became ashamed. I remember people asking me what pills I was taking and sometimes I'd lie and say they were pain killers. It seemed more acceptable to say I had migraines than to say I had epilepsy. My parents and sisters were very supportive. I had good friends for the most part. I dated guys who didn't make me feel any less of a human being. Believe me, coming from Nigeria, it's a big deal.

          The months turned into years and time was passing. Nothing was changing. Every time I thought they had finally found the miracle drug to manage my seizures, they would come back again. It was like I was on a never-ending roller-coaster ride. I started with Tegretol. Worked well until I had a drug reaction. Then came Phenobarbitone. I was in university. I could not handle the drowsiness and lethargy that came with the drug. Moved on to Epilim (valporic acid). Worked well until it didn't. Then I moved on to Epilim Chrono. Same thing but continuous release. I moved to Canada. Epilim wasn't sold here so I was placed on Divalproex. Same generic name. Once again, it worked until it didn't.

          As soon as I settled down in Canada and got a family doctor, I made moves to see a neurologist. It must have been almost a year later that I got sent to this kind old man, Dr. B. He was fun to chat with and would tell me about his family and his grand kids and their vacations etc. After our third visit when I told him I had a boyfriend, he suggested I switch meds. Lol. Just incase I got pregnant. You see, valporic acid is not the drug of choice for pregnant women.So, we started making plans to switch to Keppra (Levetiracetam). I was excited because at the time, I was having seizures at least twice every month. It was exhausting!
We made the switch and all seemed to be going well. Things changed after a couple of months. I started having absence seizures. They continued to increase in frequency. About six months later, I was having full blown seizures every couple of weeks and the absences at least 3 times everyday. That was my breaking point. I knew something had to happen. And fast!

          I poured myself into researching alternatives. I decided to speak to my doctor about surgery. I knew the risks involved, but I was at a point where anything was better than doing nothing. I started to prepare myself mentally.
     
          Suddenly, the conversation changed. Someone really close to me started the marijuana conversation. I laughed it off. To me, marijuana was a recreational drug. I didn't even give it a second thought. This friend kept trying to convince me. He even told me how marijuana had helped a skin condition he had. I still wasn't interested. Then he asked me to look out for a documentary called Weed. It was put together by CNN's Sanjay Gupta. Watching that documentary changed my life!

          I'll stop here for now. If you are interested in watching the documentary Weed, please click here.

Watch this space, I'll be back.
xoxo

I'm back... I think!

I have been away for a while because life just took over. News flash! I am having a baby! I have gone through the various stages of pregnancy and now I am at the point where I just can't wait to birth my son. Initial stage for me was, "Thank you God! My prayer has been answered!" With bated breath we went through the 1st trimester. I was sick all the time. Could not keep food down and on the bad days, even water was a task to keep down. That phase went by and ushered in the 2nd trimester. 
Life was going well, we moved from Toronto to Vancouver. Awesome city, amazing weather and my DH's new job. All was well,except my DS was cutting me no slack! I kept dealing with nausea through to almost 20 weeks. The good side was I didn't have all the associated ugliness that sometimes comes with pregnancy. Uneven skin tones, swollen feet and hands and sometimes noses. Yup, noses. Pregnancy was treating my outward appearance with respect. My belly was growing outwards and not widespread, so I didn't look too fat. I have somehow managed to gain only 10lbs in 8+ months. I can't deny my joy. My nails and hair are doing well too. 2nd trimester was my season to enjoy the glow, the sex and the sound sleep. 
3rd trimester! I must drive DH nuts with my whining! I am constantly complaining about something or the other. My back, my hips, my belly, indigestion, heart burn... the list seems endless. That's where I am now. With a few weeks to go, we are excitedly awaiting our little boy. We day dream of our lives with him and pray that we make good parents. I can't wait!

P.S. Pardon me as this blog will probably become an all things baby blog!

The Stranger in my bed

Every night I go to bed and wonder, ``Will this be the night`` The night I go to bed and have another tonic clonic seizure. It is annoying because somehow I feel like I am not complete. Like there is something not right. Something that needs to be fixed. You know how you feel when you give your shoe to a cobbler to mend. He returns it, you put your feet in and then you feel like there is something that he did not do right. You cannot at that moment tell what exactly is wrong, but as you wear it, day in and day out, that discomfort increases until one day you have your Eureka moment and alas, you find that the sole was filed a little to low to one side. That is how I feel. I feel like God tweaked something a little to one side and I am the result. My Bible tells me I am `fearfully and wonderfully made`. If I am so wonderful, then why do I cherish the odd night when I sleep till morning with no interruptions? Why do I cry myself to sleep some nights because I have just had enough? You know what makes it harder? The trying to be strong. I am not strong and I do not want to pretend that I am. I am lost sometimes, scared sometimes and completely confused some other times. It is the pretending to be strong that drives me nuts!

Love is NOT Over rated

Hi dears,

I have been so caught in my everyday life that this part of it has suffered. Well, I am here now. This past weekend, I spent some time with my husband's family. It just helped me understand certain things.

1. Love is NOT over rated
2. Getting older does not diminish the quality of love
3. Love involves being honest, open and true
4. You do not love people simply because they are members of your family.
5. Love never stops hoping for the best.
6. When you believe that divorce is part of life, it makes working on your marriage too much work.

I feel blessed to know these things and I hope that I bless someone with these truths. Life is so full of uncertainties that the only thing we are sure of is here and now. If we do not make it count, what then are we living for?

Take the time to make the people that matter in your life know that they mean a lot to you. Give, give and never stop giving. Let go and LOVE.

hugs and kisses...

What TV shows do you watch?

There is so much on TV, I almost feel like writing down all the TV shows I follow, their show times and then perhaps set my alarm as well! Okay, let us take a look at my recordings:

1. Dexter 
2. Criminal Minds
3. Smash
4. How To Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)
5. Murdoch Mysteries
6. Hannibal
7. The Following
8. American Idol
9. Orphan Black
10. Big Bang Theory
11. Under the Dome
12. Whodunnit
13. Mistresses
14. The Goodwin Games
15. Mad Men
16. The Colbert Report
17. The Daily Show
18. Paranormal Witness

I bet there are a couple more that I cannot remember right now. Imagine that? It is crazy how much time I spend watching TV!  Hmm... I have to try to make sure I am ingesting the right kind of stuff. If I am watching this much TV, I need to make sure I am watching good stuff. Why don't you look at your recordings and share what is on there. Have a great day!