The different types of sympathizers

When something really unfortunate happens to you, then you realize that people around you have various (sometimes funny) ways of expressing sympathy. Recently, I went through a really tragic loss and my friends and family as is expected rallied around to express support/sympathy. In retrospect, I decided to categorize my sympathizers. Here are the categories:

The Uncomfortable Sympathizers - These people do not know how to react to your pain, so they decide to act as if nothing happened. You hate them and love them almost equally. It is somewhat annoying that someone would claim to be close to you and not be able to feel your pain. They come to visit and talk about everything but what you are going through. The good thing is that with them around, you can albeit for a short period, forget what you are going through.

The Unsympathetic Sympathizers - As far as I am concerned, these are the worst people to be around when you are grieving! They think they are consoling you by telling of people that have gone through what you are going through and perhaps worse. They tell you, "Look at these people and thank God. Your case is not as bad". How do I tell these people that pain is a personal thing? How I experience things and how the next person does is entirely different and personal.

The Respectful Sympathizers - These ones I respect and love. My husband, sister and two special friends fall under this category. They are honest about their ignorance. They know they understand what you are going through and they do not pretend. They know they do not know what to say, so they hold you and tell you, eventually you will be fine. They will call you and stay on the phone with you. talk about whatever you feel comfortable talking about and with these people, it is easy to cry. It is easy to laugh through the pain and it is easy to hold on to your grief for as long as you want. They do not try to rush you and tell you crazy bullshit like, "Life is too short, so you have to move on. '' To me, that sentence translates to,  ''People have gone through worse things , so suck it up! ''This, I reiterate is my favourite group!

The Bogus Sympathizers- This is the group I just shake my head at. They set out to cry more than the bereaved! They feel your pain more than you can ever feel it. They will claim to be praying for you, cry and worst of all , talk about your loss to anyone willing to listen.  Every time someone goes through something similar, they are quick to point you out as an example. It feels like they are proud to know a lot of people with sad stories and painful experiences. There is no truth in their sympathy at all.

Well, these are my four broad categories. Drop a comment if you share my views, have an explanation for why people are this way or if you have a different experience!